November 06, 2008

A kiss

                                           nov 5, 2008 062

     Hallie is not a very affectionate child. Never has been. From day one she never liked being held very close, swaddled, and heaven forbid, snuggled, kissed or hugged.

When I try to give her hugs and kisses she will push me away quite forcefully and turn her head. Honestly this would bother me. I Love to snuggle, kiss, and squish my kids. And I was bugged she didn't want to love me back. Eli was never really into snuggling either, but he would  at least let me hug and kiss him.

Because I had to have some physical sign that she loved me, Hallie and I started this thing where I would stick my pointer finger out and say "I love you!!" After I said this she would stick her pointer finger out and touch it to mine. That became her way of showing me affection. (Now don't get me wrong I still squish, kiss, and give her big hugs, but this always made me feel  a little better, because at least she wasn't fighting me).

Well she has slowly come around. A day I was sure would never happen, happened. She gave ME a kiss. I didn't even have to beg. My heart totally melted and I realized she does love me.

This slow transformation of affection  all started about a month ago. My dad asked her for a hug, and she ran to him and gave him one. I was shocked, confused, and hurt. I have asked her MILLIONS of times for hugs and she would run away from me. But my dad asks and she runs right to him with a big grin? UNBELIEVABLE! And what's worse? She did it MULTIPLE times. I thought maybe she had figured the whole hugs thing out  and was now going to be my loving, affectionate daughter. So I immediately ask her to give me a hug. She looks  at me and runs away. Again the hurt.

Then two weeks ago I asked her for a kiss and she walked over to me and gave me one. Oh. It was a great day. She will now give me kisses. Sometimes. When I ask. And  even then she has to be in the right mood.

But yesterday topped it all, and gave me new hope.

I was sitting on the floor, she walked up to me and gave me a kiss. All by herself! No begging and pleading on my part. It was her idea, and to me that was her best idea yet. Maybe she is slowly figuring out that showing a little affection isn't the worst thing.


Kristen said...

Too cute! I absolutely LOVE your little pointer finger thing with Hallie. I thought that was the cutest thing ever! But now she's voluntarily giving you kisses! How exciting!! She's such a cutie (and so is Eli)!
Oh, and I LOVE the picture of Ryan with his hair all in bows/flowers! What a good daddy!

rain said...

Ditto about the picture of Ryan. That is proof that parenthood changes you, completely.

Also, I'm glad you got the affirmation of love you deserve. We know our kiddies love us, and we hurt with the love and concern we have for them. But sometimes, you have to SEE it. I have to say, when I had Riley, she loved to be loved, but she LOVED her dad's attention. Although I was happy that she and Jeff had such a great relationship...sometimes it really got to me. I would be jealous, and cognitively, I knew that was wrong, but sometimes, you just can't help what affects you, especially when it comes to your kids. Anyway, I dealt. I mean, what can you do? I mean in addition to making sure that they know you love them and continuing to grab, squeeze, kiss and hug, like you said.
Then I had Cole, and he's a total mommy's boy. And I love every second of it. Of course I love both my kiddies equally, but you know what I mean. Just that little effort on their part makes all the difference.
Now this next one is a toss-up; I don't know what to expect at all, especially since Riley and Cole are so different. But regardless, she's going to squeezed and snuggled and kissed to the point of her screaming in frustration, because that's what moms do. It wouldn't be worth it if we couldn't.

Mangone said...

Man that would suck to have to beg for affection, i'm glad my kid willingly gives them to me. But really I have to bribe him with something before I get hugs and kisses. Just wait now Hallieavatia will never stop loving you.

carrie said...

I thought this was the cutest post. Your kids are so cute....and I love hearing about the new things they're doing. I love the picture.... I don't blame you for being so happy about that little cutie's kiss. :o) My kids all have completely different personalities from each other, I've had all ranges of emotion from them. ha ha You're so right...It is great to be loved, and SHOWN love from our kids. Have a good weekend!!

Heidi P said...

Alright, I almost cried reading this. That is so so sweet. I love the picture. Love the pointer finger bond. Very cute. :)

Jenny W said...

Okay, SWEETEST post! And that picture just melts my heart!

Tiffany said...

That is so sweet. I love getting little kisses, it makes bad days worth everything.