Today I cried…

..and yesterday, and the day before, and even the day before that.

I knew this day was coming, it just came a little faster than I expected.

Today we signed THE papers. The papers that relinquished my ownership to my beautiful home.

It is no longer mine, and I am sad! Very sad! (although, we will still be renting it for the next 2 months).

It’s hard to let it go.

I love it! I love the neighborhood! I love my neighbors and friends! I love the memories!

This is the home where our family has really grown.

This is where I brought both my beautiful girls home from the hospital!

The markings are in the garage with visual marks showing me how much my kids have grown.

The place Eli learned to ride a bike.

The place Hallie and Evie learned to crawl, and Hallie learned to walk and talk.

Eli learned to mow the lawn.

We put hours and hours into this house, we built it from the ground up; trim work, electrical, laying floors, and painting every. single. wall. myself!

There isn’t a room in my house that doesn’t hold at least one special memory, but most have many.

The bonus room where many a movie nights were held, Ryan and Eli bonded playing football on the Xbox, so many forts were built (and slept in), and where we played “theater” multiple times. I will mostly miss looking up there while little eyes would look back at me behind binoculars or a video camera as they were playing spies.

Our bedroom where we would have midnight parties where I would wake up the kids and bring them into our bed and they would act so silly. Late night talks with Ryan, and kids sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night because they are scared, sick, or just want to be close to us. Spending nights with the kids kicking me, smacking me, and laying all over me when Ryan went out of town, because I just feel so much safer when my kids are right next to me. Where we replaced a chunk of the carpet about 6 months after we moved in because Eli knocked over a can of paint and spilt about 1/4 of it all over the floor.

Our kitchen, where the kids would sit anxiously at the bar asking questions and watching Ryan intently as he cooked, Eli being so proud the first time he unloaded the dishes for me, Hallie running to grab a stool so she could stand and play in the dish water while she “helped” me wash the dishes. Eli playing restaurant.

The bar where Pina Coladas were enjoyed often, crafts were made, school work done,and where we laughed so many times over something silly the kids said at dinner.

Eli’s room with the tree that I made myself, laying in his bed singing to him, listening to him talk, or just feeling him breathe. His room where he can find any little crevice to stash junk and garbage that he insists are “special” things. (He is part hoarder).

Hallie’s room where many, many tantrums were thrown, Polly Pockets were played, lots of singing and dancing occured,tea parties were had, girls giggled, and “mom and dad” was always a favorite thing to play. The place where she told me that, “she wished I put her mirror down lower so she could look in the mirror without having to climb on a stool.” (she is kinda vain).

Even the hall in front of the kids bathroom has memories of Hallie and I laying there multiple nights when she was sick and throwing up.

The front door where Eli stood as I took his picture right before he ventured out into the real world, as he headed off to Kindergarten…and then 1st grade. And Hallie’s picture was taken right before she made new friends in Preschool. The door where we welcomed many of the kids friends, our friends, lots of family, and even the neighbors dog a couple times.

Our backyard celebrated Hallie’s first, second, and third birthday parties. Ryan’s 30th, multiple shaved ice parties, and many family gatherings.

The front porch that took the brunt of some of the kids punishments- Hallie throwing multiple horrific tantrums, and some of Eli’s ceramic paintings were thrown, and broken.

The front yard where water fights were had, soccer was played, pool parties, and many a whiffle balls were hit and lost in the weeds next door.

So many memories of my kids laughing, singing, dancing and fighting.

I will miss the spot in the wall where Hallie ran into it and hit it so hard she broke the drywall...Ryan and I laughed so hard that night.

I will miss sitting on my wrap around porch watching the kids play in the sandbox, eating dinners, and waving to neighbors as they walked by.

5 years is a long time to make lots of memories and lots of friends. Its hard to say goodbye.

Really hard!

I hope the new owners will love it and make as many sweet memories as we have.

Ryan says I will make new friends, and have new great neighbors, and make more good memories. I really hope he is right!

But in the mean time, I am going to savor all the moments I have left in this house, and the time I get to spend with neighbors, and  yes, even shed a lot more tears.